Books for Partners of Sex Addicts

Several helpful books have been written for partners of sex addicts. Preview them here:


 After the Affair by Abrahms/Spring

After the Affair: Healing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust When a Partner has Been Unfaithful
by Janis Abrahms Spring, PhD and Michael Spring

After the Affair is a book to help readers survive this crisis. Written by a clinical psychologist who has been treating distressed couples for 22 years, it guides both hurt and unfaithful partners through the three stages of healing: Normalizing feelings, deciding whether to recommit and revitalizing the relationship. It provides proven, practical advice to help the couple change their behavior toward each other, cultivate trust and forgiveness and build a healthier, more conscious intimate partnership.

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Facing Heartbreak

Facing Heartbreak: Steps to Recovery for Partners of Sex Addicts
by Stefanie Carnes, Mari Lee, and Anthony Rodriguez

When you discover that the person you loved and trusted most in the world is hiding a secret life as a sex addict, the result can be devastating. Facing that heartbreak is what this book is all about. The healing process will take time regardless of whether you decide to stay in the relationship or leave. Facing Heartbreak weaves real life stories with practical therapeutic advice and specific tasks that gently educate, empower, and guide the partner of the sex addict through a process of recovery. Using Dr. Patrick Carnes’ thirty-task sex recovery model, readers will learn to heal from the heartbreak and betrayal as they discover hope and healing.

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Mending A Shattered Heart: A Guide for Partners of Sex Addicts

Mending A Shattered Heart: A Guide for Partners of Sex Addicts
by Stefanie Carnes, Ph.D.

Where do I go from here? You are not alone. Thousands of unsuspecting people wake up every day to discover their loved one, the one person that they are supposed to trust completely, has been living a life of lies and deceit because they suffer from a disease – a disease called sex addiction. Stefanie Carnes brings together several authors to guide the reader through an assortment of topics like, How Do I Handle This? and, What Do I Tell the Kids?

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Intimate Treason

Intimate Treason: Healing the Trauma for Partners Confronting Sex Addiction
by Claudia Black & Cara Tripodi

Those in an intimate relationship with someone struggling with sex addiction will find hope and relief as they work through the exercises in this self-help workbook. They will also develop a better understanding of what is happening in their lives and find a path to healing and recovery. Author Claudia Black, PhD, is a renowned addiction and codependency expert recognized for her pioneering work with family systems and addictive disorders. Author Cara Tripodi, LCSW, is the executive director of Sexual Trauma & Recovery (STAR) in Wynnewood, Pennsylvania.

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Moving Beyond Betrayal

Moving Beyond Betrayal: The 5-Step Boundary Solution for Partners of Sex Addicts
by Vicki Tidwell Palmer

A go-to guide on how to confront, heal from, and ultimately thrive after the devastation of betrayal by a partner’s compulsive sexual or other addictive behavior. The first book specifically for partners affected by addictive behavior that addresses, in detail, how to identify, create, and maintain boundaries as a vital component of self-care and an indispensable tool for healing and growth. Through working the 5-Step Boundary Solution partners will gain clarity; reduce the chaos inherent in relationships impacted by sex addiction; feel more empowered and in control of their lives; discover whether or not their relationship with the addict is salvageable.

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Surviving Disclosure

Surviving Disclosure: A Partner’s Guide for Healing the Betrayal of Intimate Trust
by Jennifer P Schneider and Deborah Corley

Drs. Schneider and Corley’s groundbreaking 2002 workbook, Disclosing Secrets, addressed the impact of disclosure on both addicts and their partners. Their subsequent research showed that the impact of disclosure is very different for partners than addicts. Surviving Disclosure, helps partners better understand the trauma resulting from the addict’s behaviors and offers a step-by-step guide for how to begin the healing process, prepare for the impact of living with an addict (even an addict in recovery), and deal with shame, anger and fear. The book describes what to tell the children and others, how to promote self-care and well-being no matter what the addict does, and how to set boundaries as part of rebuilding trust. Relationships can heal and partners can thrive after disclosure.

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Your Sexually Addicted Spouse

Your Sexually Addicted Spouse: How Partners Can Cope and Heal
by Barbara Steffens & Marsha Means

Sexual addictions and compulsive sexual behavior are growing societal problems, with as many as three to six percent of the world population affected. Your Sexually Addicted Partner shatters the stigma and shame that millions of men and women carry when their partners are sexually addicted. They receive little empathy for their pain, which means they suffer alone, often shocked and isolated by the trauma. Barbara Steffens’ groundbreaking new research shows that partners are not codependents but post-traumatic stress victims, while Marsha Means’ personal experience provides insights, strategies, and critical steps to recognize, deal with, and heal partners of sexually addicted relationships. Firsthand accounts and stories reveal the impact of this addiction on survivors’ lives. Chapters end with “On a Personal Note” questions and propose new paths that lead from trauma to empowerment, health, and hope. Useful appendices list health and mental health care providers and clergy.

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A House Interrupted

A House Interrupted: A Wife’s Story of Recovering from Her Husband’s Sex Addiction
by Maurita Corcoran

Maurita Corcoran’s world collapsed when she learned that her husband, a successful physician, was a sex addict. She was suddenly submerged in a world of painful choices about how to rebuild a life for herself and her four children. This is an absorbing memoir about forgiveness, resilience, and hope. With the growing public awareness of how pervasive sex addiction has become, this memoir answers the questions that spouses must face in building lives of self-respect.

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Letters To A Sex Addict

Letters To A Sex Addict: The Journey through Grief and Betrayal
by Wendy Conquest

Sudden changes in routine, bizarre and inexplicable shifts in behavior, in the bedroom and out. Emotional distance and excuses for lack of connection. These are all telltale signs that something is very, very wrong. For a sex addict’s spouse or partner, these changes and fluctuations are upsetting and crazy making, leading to thoughts that they have done something wrong, aren’t good enough or that there is some other reason for the inconsistent, bewildering behavior. Inspired by a career of working with sex addicts and their partners/spouses, Wendy Conquest’s collection of letters fuses fiction and nonfiction to astounding results. Diving deeply into the psyches of those whose lives are shattered by betrayal and the resultant feelings of hurt, rage, resentment and despair, this book directly mirrors a partner’s experiences from multiple perspectives. Each letter explores a different facet of the relationship dynamic, the addict’s illness, and the partner’s thoughts and feelings throughout all the stages of this devastating experience. This powerful book is for men and women experiencing the trauma of infidelity caused by their partner’s sexual addiction and the fallout that occurs. This informative book was written for anyone needing to understand what is happening to them, that they are not alone, that there is help and that there is recovery.

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Back From Betrayal: Recovering from His Affairs

Back From Betrayal: Recovering from His Affairs
by Jennifer Schneider, M.D. and Burt Schneider

Dr. Schneider’s pioneering work is the first written for women whose husbands keep getting involved in serial affairs. Based on interviews and her own experience, she addresses the anguish and helplessness which codependents feel daily. In clear, compassionate, and informed writing she describes the nature of sexual coaddiction, helps coaddicts understand their own disease and their denial and isolation and outlines a path to sexual recovery.

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Confronting Your Spouse’s Pornography Problem

Confronting Your Spouse’s Pornography Problem
by Rory C. Reid & Dan Gray

Addressing the modern issue of addiction to Internet pornography, this evaluation guides spouses struggling to find ways to confront this problem in their married lives. Calling on years of counseling experience and clinical study, the authors cover the most concerning issues of this sexual addiction, from understanding the importance of disclosure to reestablishing trust for the success of a long-term marriage. Containing valuable information gathered from experience, research, and the testimony of clients struggling to overcome these sexual addictions, this guide helps couples confront and overcome the hurdles of related activities such as illicit chat rooms, cybersex, and predatory behavior towards minors.

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