Gay Men, the Shame Paradigm, and Sex

Dan Lacovara

by Dan Lacovara, MFT

Friday, November 17, 2017

1:15pm – 2:30pm

FREE CEU LECTURE!
1 CEU available

Sex addiction treatment professionals generally agree toxic shame plays a crucial role in driving an addict’s behavior, and that by helping him or her work through it, healthy relationships are within reach. What do we as therapists do when faced with the possibility that an intergenerational transmission of shame might be embedded in the collective psyche of an entire community – in this case the community of gay men? Despite broader societal acceptance and advances in LGBTQ rights, sex between men remains in many ways a taboo in our society. There still exists a narrative that gay sex is a “dirty secret.”  With the evolution of online hook-up Apps, the prevalence of pornography and the increase in the use of recreational drugs for sexual purposes, many gay men are unwittingly playing into that very narrative. Non-relational, non-intimate sexual behaviors can be seen as the norm. In addition, internalized homophobia can often lead to gay men sexually shaming one another. For the gay male sex addict, the conflation of the two has a devastating impact, making it nearly impossible for them to separate healthy from unhealthy sex.  Understanding this unique shame paradigm is essential to compassionate and effective treatment.

Daniel Lacovara, MFT, is the Clinical Outreach Specialist at CHS. Daniel’s role is to provide sex therapy and sex addiction training and education to graduate schools and clinical training sites. Before joining CHS, Dan worked at the Los Angeles Gay and Lesbian Center, where he worked with clients with substance abuse and mental health problems such as anxiety, depression and grief and loss. In addition, he designed the curriculum for and co-facilitated the Center’s first Sexual Compulsives Group for men. He has participated in Group Psychotherapy Association of Los Angeles (GPALA) trainings on psychodynamic and relational work in group therapy and with the California Association of Mental Health (CAMFT) on depression and its impact on intimate relationships. He has also received training in attachment theory and Bowenian approaches to individual and couples treatment at the Bowen Institute in San Diego.

This lecture takes
place at Center for Healthy Sex

RSVP to charlie@centerforhealthysex.com

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LGBTQIA2S+
Affirmative Care

LGBTQIA2S+ challenges can include discrimination, marginalization, trauma, expressing authentic gender and sexual identities, shame & guilt deconstruction, anxiety, depression, relationship struggles and more.

 

LGBTQIA2S+

LGBTQIA2S+ challenges can include discrimination, marginalization, trauma, expressing authentic gender and sexual identities, shame & guilt deconstruction, anxiety, depression, relationship struggles and more.