“Love leads to present rapture,–then to pain;
But all through Love in time is healed again.”
~ Charles Godfrey Leland
Like all organisms, the human organism is encoded to move towards health and healing. But any type of healing takes time, and psychic healing especially requires sustained effort and a lot of deliberate repair work. Love is the remedy that will make your relationship sound or whole again, but you must take great care and have great patience to restore its health, particularly if you or your partner’s sexuality was vandalized in childhood or if there’s been a betrayal in the relationship.
The road to healing begins with your commitment to stop hurting yourself, to tend to your partner’s heart and pain, and to ask to be tended to if you’re in distress. Long after you’ve done the repair work you both may need to do, you must keep a keen eye on the love you and your partner need in order to keep moving forward in the relationship. When this care is done consciously, when you feel you can trust of your partner to be solid for you, and when reactions aren’t taken personally, sex can be a powerful arena for healing old wounds.
Daily Healthy Sex Acts:
- Assess where your partner might be hurting. Does s/he need reassurance? If so, how–a kind word, compliment, gesture, or laugh?
- How current are you with where s/he is in the internal healing process? Get curious, ask questions, then follow through with actions that demonstrate your love.